Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Long time no sea ...

I just came back from a holiday at the sea a few days ago. I haven´t been to the sea like this for 10 years. It was a healing experience for my body as well as my soul. As you see, I haven´t written a decent post in more than 2? 3? years? Either way, that's too many to skip an explanation. Well, what to say. I've been busy. Mostly with myself, moving, breaking, falling in and out... These years were tough for me. I've lost and found precious things in life, mostly pieces of myself and heart. I have learnt a lot.. about life in general but mostly about self-worth and love. 

Love. How easy the word sounds. How difficult it is to grasp it rationally. The older I am (and yes, I'm quite old and I'm proud of that), the more I feel that love is anything but something to describe or understand. It is supposed to be felt, lived and fully embraced. It is within and everywhere around us. And nobody can ever take it from you unless you do it yourself. We cannot own it. It just is. 

And if it hurts, then it is better to let go, as it might not be love what you are experiencing. It might be an obstacle of your own mind you've constructed to protect yourself not to get hurt again. With them your heart is closed and nothing can come in or out. How hard it is to become vulnerable again to be able to feel something? Been there done that, we all know it's hard. But it is the only possible way. And probably the best you can ever choose to go, again. For what's new for me, this time I've realized my own responsibility for co-creating the world I've been living. It was exactly what I believed in. And it could be anything I wish, once I'm ready to take part in de-creating and re-creating it consciously anew. What a relief. There's no one else to blame and nothing else to wait for. The best moment is always now.

With all the loves I've lost and found, there's one that always had a special place in my heart. Tea, of course. It is teaching me to see my real reflection in the mirror of the cup, to read from my deep whirlwind of feelings, to understand the connection between my embodiment and everything around me. I have learnt we all are part of something bigger than ourselves. Again, I am at the very beginning of a new cycle of invaluable discoveries and it's going to be adventurous, I can feel it. I'm looking forward to all the abundance I've been directing right into my cup.

For the time being, I've been trying to make tiny steps being creative, releasing the gathered experience that has been there, seeding for too long already. Another good thing is that I've started painting again. It feels great. As this "first" post about time of resurrection was not meant to be about a tea review, I'm going to post my last painting at least:

This is how I've felt probably most of the time I've been dormant. I believe the pink bright sky is the future that is becoming present the minute I post this. And that my next post will be at least two shades brighter.

Happy Venus Retrograde to all of you who have been re-evaluating your life lately. We all are in times of massive transition and I can sense there's something sweet on the horizon. I hope we'll all share it the best way we can.




Frank Hadley Murphy says:
at: August 12, 2015 at 11:46 PM said...

Congratulations. Esteban. Sounds like you're birthing yourself. What we all go through to get there. Best of luck on the road ahead! I share a number of revelations and "birthing experiences" in both my tea books: "The Spirit of Tea" and "Tea Fried Brain: Notes From Saint Camellia's Church of the First Infusion". The former is being published in China. The latter is being revised, re-edited and republished. But besides all that, WELCOME BACK. (Listen to Doc Watson sing "Along the Road" sometime.) With best wishes, your brother in tea, Frank Hadley Murphy Yellow Crane Mountain Hermitage Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

Esteban Rivas says:
at: August 13, 2015 at 12:18 AM said...

Thank you, Frank, it's incredible: I was thinking of your book and the review I wrote here in one of my ancient posts ( when writing this one and I was even considering using a quote.... Now I saw your comment and it just literally made my day. I LOVE your book, it's so inspiring, I'm going to read it again now, it's a perfect match for what's been happening in my life. And I hope to read the second, too. Thanks again! Best wishes to you.

Frank Hadley Murphy says:
at: August 13, 2015 at 12:29 AM said...

Esteban, thanks for your note. And besides welcoming you back I'd like to WELCOME YOU HOME!
"Tea Fried Brain" is a bit of a wild ride for tea people but I think you'll enjoy it. It's an autobiographical novel. Book #3 is entitled "A Mystical Life" and begins with some of Steve Owyoung's masterful translations of old tea poems. See his: Warmly, Frank

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Drink your tea
slowly and reverently,
as if it is the axis
on which the world earth revolves.
Slowly, evenly,
without rushing toward the future.
Live the actual moment.
Only this moment is life.

Thich Nhat Hanh

Best to be like water,
Which benefits the ten thousand things
And does not contend.
It pools where humans disdain to dwell,
Close to the Tao.

Live in a good place.
Keep your mind deep.
Treat others well.
Stand by your word.
Keep good order.
Do the right thing.
Work when it's time.

Only do not contend,
And you will not go wrong.

Tao Te Ching, 8 / transl. Addis & Lombardo